Captain’s Log: When Perimenopause Steals Sleep — Insomnia, Healthcare Frustrations & Gamer Escapes
It’s 12:30am.
A full two and a half hours past my bedtime.
And yet… here I am. Wide awake.
Apparently insomnia is another fun little bonus feature of perimenopause — because clearly hot flashes weren’t enough.
For the past week I’ve been trying to push through it. Just lie there. Force sleep. Pretend my brain isn’t running a 24/7 background process of anxiety, hormones, responsibilities, and random thoughts about whether I forgot to switch the laundry.
Tonight I gave up.
If I’m going to be awake anyway, I might as well do something productive — like finally working on my blog.
Perimenopause Is Wildly Inconsistent
A month ago I was waking up almost every morning with hot flashes so intense they completely wrecked my sleep. I already wake up at 5:30am during the week, so getting jolted awake even earlier felt brutal.
Now?
The hot flashes backed off… and insomnia moved in instead.
Hormones are honestly the most chaotic game mechanic I’ve ever encountered.
And that’s saying something considering I play Star Trek Online.
A Lifetime of Sleep Problems
Truthfully, insomnia isn’t new for me.
I’ve dealt with sleep issues since I was a teenager. At one point in high school, my mom read my diary, thought I was suicidal, and pulled me out of class to take me to a therapist.
The solution?
Seroquel.
If you know anything about that medication, you know it’s basically a nuclear option for sleep. It knocked me out so hard I could barely function during the day. I didn’t stay on it long.
But the experience stuck with me.
The Mental Health System Isn’t Always What People Think
In 2020, I had a traumatic experience that resulted in being Baker Acted for 72 hours after a drug interaction incident. Long story short — I was already on prescribed medications, unknowingly took something unsafe while drinking on my birthday, and ended up with what was likely serotonin toxicity.
Instead of investigating context, I was immediately labeled.
Another drug user. Another mental health case.
No one cared that I had just bought a $250K home on my own two months earlier.
No one cared I was actively seeing mental health professionals.
No one cared about the full medical picture.
I learned a lot during those 72 hours — including how flawed the system can be.
Many patients there actually told me:
“You don’t belong here. You’re normal.”
Ironically, that mirrors a famous psychological experiment where healthy individuals were admitted to psychiatric hospitals and still diagnosed with serious disorders.
That experience changed how I view healthcare forever.
Why Women Struggle to Trust the Medical System
One of the hardest parts now is finding new providers I trust.
My primary care provider moved to California last year, and losing a doctor who listens — truly listens — is devastating.
Anyone who has chronic health issues knows this:
Good providers are rare.
I have appointments scheduled with new doctors, and while I’m hopeful, there’s always that underlying anxiety:
Will they question everything?
Will they try to change medications that already work?
Will they actually hear me?
Women are often dismissed medically. That’s not paranoia — it’s documented reality.
Playing Catch-Up After Open Enrollment Burnout
Next week is packed with appointments:
Psychiatrist
Vet visit (hello expensive cat dental cleaning)
Hair appointment with a new stylist
Psychologist appointment
Eyebrows
Adult responsibilities everywhere
This is what happens when you ignore your own needs during Open Enrollment season and then try to recover afterward.
I’m also juggling taxes, business restructuring, and trying to build new creative income streams so my entire financial life isn’t dependent on one industry.
You know… casual adult stuff.
Life With Seven Cats (Yes, Seven)
We’re down from eight cats to seven now.
Still chaos.
Laundry alone could qualify as an Olympic sport in this house.
This weekend my boyfriend finally started cleaning out his office — which meant stuff exploded into every room — and then promptly threw his back out.
So naturally I picked up the slack.
Because that’s relationships.
But also… exhaustion.
Gaming: My Sanity Break
Despite everything, I still try to carve out time to decompress with games.
Currently:
Stuck on Overtime Day 5 in my PlateUp franchise
Fighting my way through Star Trek Online missions
Epically falling with the new Star Trek Voyager game
Gaming isn’t just entertainment for me — it’s stress regulation.
It’s one of the few times my brain actually slows down.
Insomnia + Hormones + Medication Reality
Right now I’m realizing something important:
My usual sleep strategies aren’t working anymore.
Perimenopause changes everything.
Hormones affect:
Sleep cycles
Anxiety levels
Temperature regulation
Mood
Energy
Medication response
And a lot of women aren’t warned about how intense this transition can be.
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