Captain’s Log: Half a Fortune at Thirty-Nine

Captain’s Log, Stardate 2602.120925

This log revisits a birthday that didn’t quite land the way I imagined. Originally written after a cloudy Florida afternoon, a surprise cycle, and a fortune cookie that felt almost symbolic, this entry captures what happens when health journeys and expectations collide.

Some birthdays sparkle.

Others humble you.

And sometimes, the universe hands you half a fortune and calls it character development.

(Photo: Fortune cookie with a fortune literally torn in half — the unofficial mascot of Birthday 39.)

 

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A Birthday That Didn’t Go as Planned

I didn’t manage to blog on my birthday itself. Anyone who works full-time and tries to “take a day off” knows how hard it is to truly disconnect.

This year wasn’t the best birthday. But it wasn’t the absolute worst either.

Just… off.

I had planned ahead and taken an extra day off, picturing sunshine and pool time. Florida weather had other plans — clouds all day.

So I pivoted.

Crafting projects.
A little gaming.
And binge-watching Star Trek: The Next Generation to sharpen my trivia skills.

And then — halfway through the day — mother nature showed up.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

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My Ongoing Medical Journey

For anyone new here, I’m currently navigating the murky territory of possible menopause, possible PCOS, or menopause-like symptoms tied to elevated prolactin levels.

Add this:
I was on birth control for over 20 years and stopped about three years ago.

In the last six months, the pain during my cycle has been unreal.

This is what led to more gynecological testing.

The truth?

We’re far from answers.

For the last two Open Enrollment seasons, I didn’t have a period at all. That, combined with intense hip pain, pushed me to dig deeper medically.

Yet here I am — less than two weeks after my last cycle — dealing with it again.

I’m not a doctor, but my gut says something else is going on. Maybe it’s connected to my ongoing gastric distress. Maybe it’s hormonal. Maybe it’s both.

More testing will have to wait until Open Enrollment is over.

Until then, it’s management mode:

Heat pads.
Rest.
Comfort over birthday dinners.

There’s a line from The Handmaid’s Tale that echoes in my head:
“Pain makes your world so small.”

On days like that, it does.

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Fortune Cookie Fail

To top it off, my boyfriend and I opened leftover fortune cookies from the night before.

Out of three cookies, I picked the only one with half a fortune inside.

Half.

I spent several minutes trying to unfold it, convinced it was stuck together.

Nope.

It was literally cut in half.

My boyfriend confirmed it, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Because honestly? It felt on brand.

And yes — the date also happens to fall on 9/11.

A layered day, to say the least.

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Reflections on 39

I don’t want pity.

I handle my battles.

Every day is a challenge, but every day is also a lesson.

So here I am — 39.

One step closer to 40.

(My boyfriend hits 40 in December — on one of the three busiest days of the insurance year, naturally. I have no idea yet how I’m making that special, but I will.)

Life is unpredictable.

I hope my stories bring more laughter and connection than sympathy.

I know there are people facing far worse.

But I also know some of you relate — and that matters.

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Looking Ahead

I’ve been pouring energy into fanfiction lately, but I also plan to write more about the procedures I’ve gone through and the broader arc of this medical journey — not just current updates.

From the looks of blog stats, those posts resonate most.

And if sharing the messy middle helps even one person feel less alone?

That’s reason enough to keep writing.

This journey isn’t over.

Not even close.