Captain’s Log: Commissions, Confusion, and the Acid Procedure Nobody Warns You About

Captain’s Log, Stardate 2602.170925

My last post may have been a little TMI, but hey — that’s real life. I know I’m not the only one my age who’s gone through something similar. And if we’re being honest, it was a little comical too.

If you’re still reading, good for you — you’re not easily weirded out by reality. And reality gets messy. Sometimes knowing someone else has walked through it first makes it less scary.

This one will be shorter. I’m exhausted after a long workday of training and Open Enrollment prep. Some days it feels like I’m losing my mind trying to keep everything together.

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Medicare Pressure Cooker

I’ve been captive to one carrier for 12 years now. Before that, I was a broker selling multiple carriers. My book of business back then was much smaller.

What a difference.

By this time of year, I’d normally have my email templates built, documents downloaded, and everything ready to go for October 1st.

As of today? Still no access to next year’s plan files.

One week is not enough time to download, research, and prepare emails for hundreds of clients. Not even close.

The changes this year haven’t been in agents’ favor either. During training today, we learned one carrier won’t be paying commissions on prescription drug plan sales.

I don’t sell those plans — but they’re extremely popular. Hearing other agents vent about losing renewal income? That hit.

For eight years, my income steadily grew.

For the last four? It’s declined every year.

Switching careers at this stage feels like searching for a needle in a haystack. I know I’m not alone in this, and smooth sailing doesn’t appear to be coming anytime soon.

The silver lining? The rest of this carrier’s 2026 plans will still be commissionable.

Small win. I’ll take it.

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Delayed Birthday Dinner

The day ended on a high note.

We finally had my delayed Birthday Dinner. My boyfriend’s company gifted me a Bonefish card, and tonight felt like the right night to use it.

Lately he’s been cooking on my nights or we’ve been grabbing takeout because I’m drained. Getting out of the house felt good.

Even better?

Another gastric-distress-free morning.

And I managed two martinis without issues.

Maybe the hot tea habit is helping.

Or maybe bodies are just unpredictable.

It’s maddening not knowing from one day to the next whether you’ll feel fine or sidelined.

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Round Two: Early Twenties Reality Check

Now back to where we left off.

After years of clean pap smears, around age 20, I hit another scare.

Hard to say whether it came from the original HPV strain or something new. At that age, I was more promiscuous — young, living alone, bartending, no one supervising my decisions.

Birth control prevents pregnancy.

It does not prevent STDs.

Three little “buggers” showed up.

And I had to revisit that same gynecologist — yes, the one missing fingers.

This time, it was the other strain of HPV.

That meant an Acid Procedure.

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The Acid Procedure

The procedure itself wasn’t terrible.

The recovery?

One of the most painful experiences I’ve had.

Once the numbing wore off, walking was agony.

And I was bartending. On my feet constantly.

I believe I was also attending community college in Flint at the time — more walking.

When acid has been applied “down there,” every step feels like fire.

Oddly enough, my wisdom teeth surgery was easier. I’d take that again any day over the Acid Procedure.

And believe it or not, that wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever endured.

That one’s still coming.

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Proof in the Pudding

That Acid Procedure was my second-to-last run-in with an STD.

I just turned 39. I’ve had negative pap smears ever since.

I never took preventative pharmaceuticals.

I did stay consistent with preventative testing.

Now it’s once a year.

Still negative.

No partners in years have had issues either.

So what gives?

I’m grateful. Truly.

But I can’t ignore that some of the messaging we were fed didn’t fully align with my lived experience.

I’m a proof-is-in-the-pudding person.

And there’s still one more story in this chapter.

It can only be tested one way.

That’s why I still stay consistent with my screenings.

If the suspense isn’t building yet… it should be.

Stay tuned.